


The secret love of an actress and a surgeon

by madeleine2911



Category: The 100 (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2020-01-16 11:32:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18520630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madeleine2911/pseuds/madeleine2911





	1. Chapter 1

It was lunchtime on a normal day in Polis when Clarke got out of surgery and went to the OR board to erase her latest surgery. The nurses were whispering loudly when she walked past the nurses' station on her way there, maybe they were having a new famous patient, Clarke thought, which wasn't unusual in a popular city like Polis. As she looked if her friend Raven was free for their lunch break she saw that the girl just got into an emergency surgery which according to the board would most likely last a few hours. When she looked who the patient was she saw the name of the person she most cared about, L. Woods, the name of the renowned actress...

And also her wife of five years, which no one knew. To the rest of the world, the actress was single and more importantly, very very straight. They kept their relationship and marriage a secret and only very few people who are close to the women know of them being in a relationship. Those people only consist of their parents and Clarke's brother Simon who is still living in Switzerland, where Clarke was born and where she lived till she emigrated to the US eight years ago.

As Clarke grew more and more anxious she was asking herself why she didn't know of the admission of her wife. It was the protocol to inform patients relatives as soon as they were admitted and identified. Then it grew to her, because they aren't openly married, they, or more, Lexa decided that they shouldn't be each other's emergency contact because that would be too obvious and people would ask questions when that came out and it eventually would come out because people are noisy, especially if it is about an actress as popular as Lexa Woods.

She had to stay calm, she couldn't break in front of her coworkers, they would just ask weird questions and she can't tell them that she is scared for the actress without them thinking that she has a silly crush on her. Because the truth wasn’t an option, they worked too hard for it to be a secret than that she could just slip it out because she was a little scared.

Therefore Clarke went as calmly as ever to the nurses' station and asked nurse Mia if she had news on the surgery and when Raven could be expected back, as she needed her for a consult and wanted to eat with her as they always did. Of course was she more interested in the wellbeing of her wife than when Raven would be free to eat lunch but she couldn't ask openly about her without raising suspicions and she couldn’t bring herself to go to the gallery and look, she didn’t want to see her wife when she was being cut open by her best friend.

Clarke was nervous and tense as Mia called the OR and asked about the wellbeing of the patient, the expanse of the injury and how much the time it would take Raven to finish the ongoing surgery. As Mia was done with the call and Clarke expectantly waited for the answer she started to laugh loudly which made Clarke even tenser. She asked Clarke if she had a crush or if something was wrong. But the girl just answered that she didn’t want such a talented person to die and put on a fake smile. The other woman was apparently satisfied with the excuse of the surgeon and told her that Lexa had a ruptured spleen and a little internal bleeding and would be fine soon but that the surgery would still last at least another hour.

Clarke was very happy to hear that her wife would most likely be fine and lost a little of her tension. She decided to clear her day from her remaining surgeries because she didn't feel capable of doing them that day after hearing from her wife. She went to the emergency room to look if they needed a neurological consult and spent an hour there helping an old man with a head wound. She went then up to the recovery floor to look if her wife was already there. When she found her she looked through the window and saw that she was asleep but she couldn’t go in without starting to cry and that wouldn’t be the best outcome of the whole situation. So she went and took a shower in the locker room and went to take a nap in an on-call room as she didn't want to be away from her wife when she woke up. When she finally got up from her rather long nap after six hours, she had a text form Lexa where she wrote to her that she was in an accident and got admitted to the hospital. She asked her if she could be discreet if she wanted to visit her. Clarke got mad because how could she be discreet about a visit at the hospital she worked at. Her coworkers were very noisy and lived for gossip and how should she explain to them that she knew the actress well enough to be allowed to visit her. And more importantly, how should she explain the visit to the bodyguards that will soon be standing in front of the room that Lexa stays in, without them getting suspicious? It is complicated enough when she visited her wife on location whenever she shot out of town, but there she could just pretend to be the best friend. But a visit to the hospital is something else than a visit at work, it is more intimate and therefore it would be odd for her to be there.

Because of that, she answered Lexa that she had to think about it, as she didn't know how in hell she could be secret about it. As she sent the text Clarke immediately felt bad but it was the truth and she has been angry about their agreement for a while. She knew that she can’t do this for much longer, she can’t keep this amazing person a secret forever, not the love of her life and the mom-to-be to their amazing baby.

Yes, she was pregnant, which Lexa didn’t know yet. She found out just before the accident that their treatment worked and she got pregnant, she was already at three months. She wanted to tell her wife when she got home but she guessed the news had to wait for a little longer since she didn't want to tell her the news in a hospital where everyone could see them. Also, it would be dangerous since their relationship situation and she thought that neither her wife nor herself could stay calm and pretend to be in a strictly platonic relationship when she would tell Lexa that they were going to be parents soon. She actually started showing already which for Clarke was just some extra ice she ate in summer but apparently was their baby. She wanted to wait with the ultrasound until they could go together but the blood test was very positive when she did it after feeling odd for the last few weeks.

As Clarke was thinking about their baby, she got a new text form Lexa which told her to come and see her when the shifts changed as she knew that that was the time the nurses had to update their replacement about the new patients and were busy for a short amount of time which they could use for their visit. Clarke was astonished by the brilliance of the idea and agreed quickly. She headed to the room and groaned as she looked at the clock and saw that she had to officially head in two hours to work for another 20 hours.


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke arrives at Lexa's new room and looks through the window. There she sat on the hospital bed small and pale connected to tubes and machines. But she was conscious and looked at her with a smile on her slightly bruised but still beautiful face.

“Hi Lex”

"Clarke," said Lexa with a small voice.

She went into the room and closed the door for privacy. She then sat down next to the bed.

“Are you doing alright?” she asked with an anxious voice. She wanted her wife to be alright even if she was a bit angry at her because of their situation.

“A little sore but fine thank you, are you okay?” Lexa sounded still sleepy after the long day and the surgery.

"I wasn't the one in an accident… But I was shocked when I read your name on the board, so there was that..." Said Clarke with slight anger and disappointment in her voice.

“I know and I am so sorry that you had to hear the news like that but-“ Lexa started but got interrupted,

"There is no but, it didn't have to be like that and you know that. It's your fault, with the whole "we can't be seen and no one can know about us" shit" Clarke was angry and felt sicker and sicker form both the situation with Lexa and the morning sickness that still lingered even after the first trimester.

"I know and I am sorry but we discussed it, it would be a risk for me to come out, my career would be at risk." , replied Lexa sheepishly

"Yes, but we had that discussion years ago and you said, that once the world was more open about the thing, you would come out. I know it isn't easy and you will still have some problems, but what will you tell our kid when the treatment worked and we will the baby?!

That you were ashamed of them, that your career stood over everything and that you chose your job over him or her?! I didn’t have a problem with living in the darkness for the past seven years because I got that your situation wasn't wonderful and because I knew of the risk you would have to take if you choose to come out.", by then they were both crying and Lexa looked down ashamed.

"But today? I don't get it anymore and I don't want to get it because honestly, I want to tell the world what a wonderful wife I have and that we are going to have a baby soon without being restricted to the few people that know. I want our kid to grow up without them having to be cautious when they want to tell people who their parents are. I am just sick of lying. I love you soo much but I can't tell anybody about my love for you because you are too much of a coward."

Lexa was sobbing and looked at Clarke with sadness in her eyes, she didn't know that her wife was affected that strongly. She knew that the solution was hard on her. She wasn't happy about it either, but that it affected her that much? She had no idea about that.

“I am sorry, I know it is bad and I love you too and I want to tell the world too, I just- I don’t know how to tell them after all this time.”

"I know honey, but you have to think about it because honestly, I don't know if I can do this for much longer. I love you very much but I can’t pretend anymore. I can’t pretend to be single for longer and I can’t lie to my friends about not being interested in anyone when they want to pair me up with someone. I mean of course am I not interested in those people when I have a wonderful wife at home but they don’t know of you, they don’t know of the beautiful woman that holds my heart. I tell them that I like being single, that I don’t want to have a girlfriend and that I have too much work to be able to date. Which isn't true, because I am kind of dating. I mean I am not dating but I am in a relationship… you know what I mean.", Clarke realized she was rambling and stopped. She looked at Lexa lovingly, who looked back with the same loving expression on her face.

“You have to think about the situation and what you want to do about it. I won't make you an ultimatum but you just have to know that I won't do this for another seven years.", with that Clarke planted a short kiss on her wife's forehead.

“I get it and I will think about the whole thing. I love you, you have to know that. You know that, do you?! I love you so much it hurts sometimes” Lexa pleaded with her as she wanted to be sure her wife knew she loved her, even if she wasn’t able to tell anyone about it yet.

“Of course do I know that, but no one else knows of it and sometimes that hurts and then I feel insecure and when I think very low of myself I think that you are embarrassed about being with me or that you just don't want people to know of us. And I know it is silly but you have to admit it could look like it ." She told Lexa, who looked even sadder after her wife's admission.

“I have to go now, the new shift started fifteen minutes ago and the new nurses will arrive soon. I have to start working in an hour too. Get well soon babe, I love you” Clarke gets up and walks to the door.

“Bye honey, have a nice day at work and feel free to walk by if you have a minute. And you have to know that I am never ever embarrassed by you. You are a brilliant and strong woman and the love of my life. ”, answers Lexa and starts to lie down to nap again, the discussion made her tired. After the long day and surgery Lexa still felt groggy.


End file.
